went to crazy boring rehearsal. need to bring more junk obviously to do tomarrow. certain non-dance song stuck in head:
Cultivate your hunger before you idealize.
Motivate your anger to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.
My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve,
Sneaking out of the classroom, by the back door.
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care.
Waiting is wasting for people like me.
Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
(Repeats)
You say, "Dreams are dreams.
"I ain't gonna play the fool anymore."
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."
Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom.
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadow of nothing.
You still are blind, if you see a winding road,
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see.
Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
(repeats 2 more)
and been looking up po po zao dude, was curious...so
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcYjjwolFoo&search=kevin%20federline yeah.
so.. i wish i could actually draw.. been trying to practice, but proportions always wrong. if either of my parental units ever see yaoi and figure it drawn by my hand, they may very well scold me.. i don't get y pep have such a beef over the issue. i've been thinking about it some. its a weird thing.. and peps are like "sex is natural".. y do they fear homosexual people anyways? ah well, i'm glad i'm not homo just so i'm not persecuted majorly by these people.. oh well..
i wish aki were here to hang out w. i wanna get aki and muo into anime/manga.. but they're never here.. muo is way easier to convince.. but aki's more of a reader. so idk. i'll think on it some later.
but yah, so i found a bunch of controversal stuff on po po zao. some peps really really dislike it. and my friend told me that some of the moms of the little hiphoppers are freaked out about it too. i dont really like such crude er "music". junk. it seems like many vulgar sentiments are implied in the lyrics.
oh yeah and i need to work on my vocabulary. it's not limited in my writing as much as my speech. i need to concentrate more on writing w more meaning and make it more difficult to understand. when i talk though, i need to be more understandable, no one gets what i'm trying to say. so much to do, not enough energy to think. just type. pretty fast too. hehe i guess i should try to be more modest while i'm at it w self-improving. . .
i like listening to music in different languages. i still feel some kinda emotion basically emanated from it like one of em kinda makes me feel sad, but i still like it.. i wonder if maybe that's where "emo" originally came from.. overly-emotional it seems like it should be, but it describes peps who listen to dark rock or metal stuff waaay too loud and wear dark clothes.. but who doesn't wear dark clothes anymore..
mom told me the other day when we were clothes shopping that i should be careful not to wear too much black all at once or people will think i'm a masachist. i dont know if i spelled that right..
omg hahha that po po zao guy is such a dork.. ha ha.. he was bobbing his head thru his whole song,and twitching his hands all weirdlike. was that supposed to be dancing. hheheh what a loooser.. funny though.. and then hahah at the end he complimented his song. what a freakazoid. heheh funny dude. loser. hah.
well anyways what was i sayin.. hm oh masachist.. let's get a definition shall we?
oh masochist. yes that makes more sense i guess. sado-masochist. yeah that's what she sed..ahh
hm well
sadism and masochism are under the same heading, oh i see well then:
Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person. The word is derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade, a prolific French philosopher-writer of sadistic novels.
The counterpart of sadism is masochism, the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure. The name is derived from the name of the 19th century author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, known for his novel Venus in Furs that dealt with highly masochistic themes.
Sadism and masochism, often going together (one person obtaining sadistic pleasure by inflicting pain or suffering on another person who thereby obtains masochistic pleasure), are collectively known as S&M or sadomasochism
well then
i see what mom was trying to say veeery clearly. that meanie.
i can't believe she said that to me . thats like cursing. but meaner.
what does she think i am? some freakish furry or psychotic bondage fairie or something? that was a cruel statement she made. i shant let her enter hot topic again. she gets crazy ideas. i'm glad she doesn't speak japanese though. or else she might have suspected somethin at that convention where the con-goers held "will yaoi"or "will yuri" for "money or pocky" signs. and they were very, er , well they endorsed that they supported sadomasochist themes. waaay too much. like the whole time.
crazy bondage faeries and stuff. chains and whips.
not good
bad bad bad
she should kno i'm not like that.
what a strange lady. i wonder how we are related.or if we are. how could she say that to me anyways???
oh well. u kno what i'm gunna go draw more listening to my japanese stuff and yeah sleep and stuff. later then
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m'hmm__..
okay